Tag Archives: death

Hope and Healing

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My name is Andre Mathieu. I am a Passionist Brother who is a full time member of the Passionist Preaching Ministry.  I received an M.S. in Gerontology (the study of Aging) from the College of New Rochelle, New York, as well as a certificate in Thanatology (Death and Dying) from the same school. I am certified in Thanatology by ADEC, the Association for Death Education and Counseling. For the past thirty years, I have ministered with individuals and families dealing with aging and bereavement issues.  An M.A. in Pastoral Theology (Ministry) from Boston College and a CPE program (Clinical Pastoral Education) give further context to my ministry. I can be reached at amathieu@cpprov.org.

Each year a novena in honor of St. Ann is held at St. Ann’s Monastery/Basilica Shrine in Scranton, PA.  This year Father James Price, C.P., the Rector, asked me to help expand the various services rendered to the 30,000 or so people who would be participating in the July 17-26 novena.

Father Jim had identified bereavement issues as being core interests for a significant number of participants.  I was invited to offer a one-hour workshop during the course of the Novena. The workshop was offered on four different days, alternating between mornings and afternoons to make it as available as possible.  Publicity for the Novena also announced that I would be available for private bereavement counseling sessions.  Those interested made appointments through the shrine receptionist.

The workshop theme was Hope and Healing. My goal was to offer hope and encouragement by gently demonstrating the importance of dealing with grief. In the workshops, I stated the two fundamentals of healthy grieving to be faith and the handling of the emotions of grief in healthy ways. I used the Lazarus story from St. John’s Gospel, Chapter 11, as I wanted to put my comments in the context of Christian Spirituality.  I then reviewed some basic principles about death and dying, grief and loss. Those principles included our current understanding of the dynamics of bereavement; the four types of grief experienced by people; and the tasks of grief. To move from the realm of theory to the practical, I made use of real stories from my ministry experience. Some 25-30 attended each of the workshops.  I had 29 one-hour private sessions with individuals (four sessions were with couples). Issues presented ranged from the death of an elderly parent to the death of a child; from suicide to homicide.  My goal in these private sessions was to be a compassionate, non-judgmental listener and to make some helpful suggestions to move the person in healthy directions of grieving.

Check out Brother Andre’s blog at: http://andreshearth.wordpress.com/

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Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, For They Shall be Comforted

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Brother Andre Mathieu, C.P.

A Passionist pastoral ministry to the aged and the sick, to the dying and those who grieve
- Brother Andre Mathieu C.P.

Ministry to the bereaved and their loved ones is deeply rooted in the charism of the Passionist Community. We are called to walk with those crucified. We know that we cannot do so unless we are willing to take up our own personal crosses and follow Jesus. We cannot be companions to those who are bereaved unless we are willing to walk our own journey of grief in healing ways.

“The love of God is very ingenious and is proved, not so much by word’), but by the deeds and actions of lovers ” (Saint Paul of the Cross). These words have motivated me in my life as a Passionist Brother in changing times and have helped me explore new ways of being Passionist. During my forty-eight years as a Passionist, our community has generously presented me with opportunities to obtain advanced degrees in the fields of aging, death and dying (Gerontology and Thanatology) as well as a variety of ministerial experiences. For the past 14 years, I have been assigned to our preaching ministry directing a variety of programs especially with older women/men Religious. My talks and my one-on-one counseling with others find their roots in our Passionist tradition and in the teachings of our Founder.

One of my favorite paintings is that of “Estasi di S. Paolo Croce” in SS. John and Paul, Rome. Paul embraces Jesus Crucified; Jesus reaches down from the cross and embraces Paul. This speaks to me of God’s absolute unconditional love. God so loved us that He entered the messiness of human experience in the person of His Son. This Jesus invites us to address the Almighty as Father and invites us into a personal love relationship with Him. The proof of the Father’s love is Jesus’ total self-giving on the cross. God’s love is an ever present reality in our lives. God’s presence is often mediated through human hands. I believe that a compassionate, non-judgmental, listening presence is at the heart of ministry to those suffering loss.

Saint Paul of the Cross laid great emphasis on the practice of the Presence of God. He urged men and women to begin their day by consciously choosing to place themselves in the Presence of God by making acts of faith and hope and remaining focused in the moment. For Paul, God was alive and at work in the present moment, and it was vitally important to maintain conscious contact with God throughout the day. Life can be overwhelming for those bereaved especially when projecting into an unknown or unsettling future. I believe that it is crucial to live focused in the present moment entrusting one’s self to a God named Love.

I seek to put my ministry in the context of our Fourth Vow, the Memoria Passionis. I increasingly draw insight and personal strength from the story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and incorporate these insights in my retreats. The human Jesus struggles with acceptance of the Father’s Will. He is bereaved of human consolation. His disciples are asleep. From this moment onward, He is plunged into His Sacred Passion and suffers the loss of everything: His freedom; His companions; His dignity; His life. All women and men wrestle with the mystery of suffering in their lives and in our world (Haiti).

Kenosis the letting go -is at the heart of Christian spirituality and certainly at the heart of Passionist spirituality. Jesus is our mode1. Jesus invites us to go up to Jerusalem with Him to be betrayed, condemned to death and to die on the cross each one in his/her own unique way. The invitation is universal and to the point: “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23)

This is our story. If we die with the Lord, we will rise with the Lord. Ministry to the bereaved consists in being a companion to those who experience multiple losses, helping them walk their journey of Gethsemane, Calvary, Golgotha. I believe that I cannot be a worthy companion to those bereaved unless I am immersed in my own passion experience united to that of Jesus Crucified. Jesus dies on the cross but the story did not end there. On the third day, in and through the power of God, His Father, Jesus rose from the dead. This, too, is our faith. In healthy grieving, we gradually die, letting go of all in the hope that with Jesus, we will have a new experience of life. Our goal is not the tomb but the fullness of life: “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full” (John 10: 10).

For Paul, it was imperative to connect with the Passion of Jesus: “the greatest and most overwhelming work of God:, love” (Constitutions, Chapter 1, No.1).

In this way, we come to know and experience in mind and heart -Love itself! For Paul, suffering has no meaning apart from the choice we make to unite our sufferings with His and by extension to the crucified of our day. Pastoral ministry to the aged and the sick, to the dying and to those who grieve is integral to our charism. “In this way! all may come to knave Christ and the power of His resurrection, may share in His sufferings and, becoming like Him in His death, may be united with Him in glory” (Constitutions, Chapter 1, No.3).

More about Brother Andre at: http://www.thepassionists.org/Andre_Mathieu.html

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Six Month Update from Fr. Rick Frechette

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Dear Friends,

Six months have gone by since the earthquake, and easily our work is three times larger than it was before. We have so many new programs to meet the pressing needs. Today for the first time, we fired up our crematorium. Although I was joking that I would like to use it to make Sister Judy’s birthday cake (for her 65th today), the sad truth is that poverty still humiliates the poor even after their death (a simple trip to the general morgue would show that to be true in a second). Our first attempt at a more dignified burial through cremation was predictably for a child, for five-year-old. We said the usual prayers for the dead, and commended her to God, to ash, and to the earth. This is our reality. The circle of life, coming around all too soon, completed already in childhood. Our crematorium is dedicated to Our Mother of Sorrows. We have the sorrow of burying more than 50 children and 30 adults every week.

Our new campground for displaced children is nearly ready. We have been working there all week. Instead of circling the wagons, we squared off empty containers in a huge rectangle covering 4,000 square meters. We will expand it in time. The containers themselves will soon be dormitories for the children, and the area for meals, schooling and activities will be in the shadow of the containers with the help of large awnings. There are about 350 children waiting to come in. There will be an area for small children dedicated to St Ann, the grandmother of Jesus, and a section for older children dedicated to St Louis. We hope to open July 27, on the feast of St Ann. In the meantime, the program for kids in tent cities, called Fr Wasson’s angels of light, is going strong and fast becoming an informal school system and nutrition center for 3000 children.

We have started another eight street schools over these six months. One of them is for blind and deaf children. The school they used to attend, St Vincent’s in Port au Prince, was destroyed by the earthquake, so we made a simple school for them until St Vincent is rebuilt. Our first ten children are already in this simple school. We named the school for the late beloved founder of St Vincent’s, Sister Joan Margaret. Our other 23 schools are all in session, some in tents and some in undamaged buildings, and all of them will be rebuilt slowly. We have a campaign in progress for this.

The program for prosthetic s and rehabilitation called St Germaine is well underway, and many people leave our gates with crutches, wheelchairs and artificial limbs just a little bit stronger and a little bit more able after every therapy visit. The mothers are so beautiful and patient with their children, but sadly sometimes the mothers also are disabled or missing a limb from the earthquake. Hope springs eternal.

Our St Luke field hospital for adults and children has saved a few lives already. It looks like something from Gilligan’s Island but it works for now. We are making a prefab surgery room at the moment, and doing our best to make it a family environment. We have a portable CT Scan already, and a portable Digital XRAY in the planning, most important since we receive terrible trauma injuries.  Our ability will be greatly increased by this equipment, which will be used in an air-conditioned container! Just today, we received the donation of an ambulance for the field hospital, from the government of Spain.

On July 23, our original orphanage (as of 23 years) we will receive 40 children from the earthquake. It will bring the population there at St Helene to 400 children.

We are still very busy with distributions of food, clothing, water, tents, and thousands of shoes donated in memory of Molly Hightower, one of our deeply mourned volunteers killed when our headquarters at Petionville collapsed. The distributions are difficult but important, since Port au Prince hardly at all much improved from the original catastrophe six months ago. I think many of you saw the pictures of the memorial we made for our deceased children, staff, volunteers and colleagues from the earthquake. It is at St Damien Hospital. It is our new cornerstone.

At St Damien hospital, our cancer program is improving, the surgery center is very active, the new maternity and neonatology programs and struggling but doing well, and we now can do digital electroencephalograms and have them interpreted abroad. This is to monitor the seizure activity of our patients. It is a huge advance in our treatment of seizures. Also, just today, little Anne returned to Italy to have part of her skull replaced, finally, after losing it in the nightmare of January 12, 2010.

Many thanks to all of you for your prayers, donations, encouragement!

Fr Rick Frechette
July 20, 2010

Please consider a donation to help the Passionists in their ministry to people living in poverty: Please make checks payable to PASSIONIST MISSIONARIES.

Passionist Missionaries Inc.
526 Monastery Place
Union City NJ 07087-3398
Tel: 888/806-6606
E-mail: DLisotta@cpprov.org

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And flowers will grow and flowers will grow. . .

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As many of you are aware, the Thirtieth Anniversary of the deaths of the Maura Clarke, Ita Ford, Dorothy Kazel and Jean Donavan is this December 2. When many of us first heard the news of their deaths, we realized that that event was somehow going to change things for us. And it did. It mobilized us in ways that we did not expect. Many of us did not know the women personally but that didn’t seem to matter. When women who were working with the poor were murdered, we needed to say, “No more!” For many of us an attitude, a decision or change in our lives happened.

This past week Chris Morrison, Mary Dowd, OSU, and I met with Elizabeth Swados to talk about possibilities for an anniversary celebration. Mary and I had worked with Liz to spread the good news about “Missionaries,” a musical piece written by Liz about the events in El Salvador. When the Maura Clarke – Ita Ford Center, in Bushwick, was celebrating its tenth anniversary, Liz wrote a second piece called “Ten Years of Hope”.

At the meeting, Elizabeth reminded us that at the end of Missionaries, there is a song that says, “And flowers will grow and flowers will grow….” In reflecting on that, I thought that it could be the starting point for us. What have been the “flowers” that have resulted from what we have learned and experienced over these years? How have their deaths affected us? Have we made any choices that have made a difference in our lives? How can this be reflected in music so that a sense of new life can be revealed?

Liz would love to hear these stories while she is writing the piece so that the music reflects a message of hope, joy and determination. I was thinking that we might create a garden or a field filled with these stories, these flowers. Who knows what might come out of what is written.

I have established a new e-mail address for this project – Thefourwomen@gmail.com. I invite you to contribute your ideas or stories, so that Liz can, in a sense, bring the full story up to date.

Thank you very much. Hope to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Mary Burns, SC
Founder of the Maura Clarke – Ita Ford Center

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Now I am holding the one who cannot feel me hold her

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Hello Dear Friends,

“These words are from an Italian song, it means more or less: Now I am holding the one who cannot feel me hold her.”

These words are strong for me now that my mother has died.

Hearing desperation in my fathers voice yesterday on the phone that my mother needed me in order to die in peace,

I drove all night last night from Haiti to the Dominican Republic arriving there today at 5 AM thanks to Kieran and his team, and thanks to Vern and Mary Sue Conaway I flew to Connecticut, arriving at 1 PM today.

All six of us children, together with my father sat at my mother’s bed and talked and shared stories about life and death.

She was already far away, but listening I am sure.

We then we had the mass together at the bed-side and during the very consecration my mother died, surrounded by all of us when I said, “This is my body, given up for you.”

I thank all of you who have shared the last eight months with us. I thank you for your solidarity and prayers.

I had thought I had lost my chance to be with mom at the holy moment of death after spending days burying so many victims of the earthquake in Haiti since January 13th and caring for the desperately wounded.

Join me in thanking God for my mom’s life and death.  I thank you for all your concern and prayers for the tragedy in Haiti we are doing our best to face.

After my mothers funeral on Thursday, I will be ready to rejoin forces with all those doing our strong work in Haiti to continue help relieve the suffering there.

May God bless you,

Fr Rick Frechette